...now, 2 months later...

Wow! I'm literally the WORST "blogger" ever! I make my first post and get super excited, but fail to keep it up-to-date! Oh well... hopefully this time will be different! :) It is hard to believe that Andrew and I have been married for over 2 months. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday. While in other ways it seems as if we have been together for much longer. I am quite amused at how quickly I adjusted to having someone with me all the time! It is beautiful how love connects two individuals in such a way that seems inseparable. I cannot imagine what my life would be with out Andrew. He has challenged me to be a woman pursuing hard after God's heart. He has encouraged me in my self- doubt. And he has developed a way of bringing out both the best and the worst in me at the same time! :) Who would have thought! Bottom line being this: I LOVE BEING MARRIED TO RICHARD ANDREW BROWN! :)

For the last week, God has been continually pointing me back to a particular scripture and forcing me to take its truth to heart. The scripture has been Proverbs 30:7-9. It has been one of my favorite scriptures for the past 2 years, yet within the last week it has brought about a new meaning in my life. It states:

⁷Two things I asked of You,
Do not refuse me before I die:
⁸Keep deception and lies far from me,
Give me neither poverty nor riches;
Feed me with the food that is my portion,
⁹That I not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the LORD?"
Or that I not be in want and steal,
And profane the name of my God.

I ask for a LOT of things. I have discovered that as my birthday is just 3 days away. When someone asks me what I would like for my birthday, I will think about it, and as I think a list of things continually go through my mind. I live my life asking for much. Asking from much from Andrew, my family, my friends, and my self. But Agur, the author of this psalm, He asks for just two things. He not only asks for just two things, but he asks GOD to NOT REFUSE HIM THESE THINGS before He dies. If Proverbs holds statements of wisdom, and if it commands me to SEEK wisdom, then when I read these words, I need to take them to heart and consider them greatly! Maybe, I need to re-think the things that I "ask" to God. I do not have a problem asking God "don't give me poverty". However, I often have a problem asking God to " not give me riches." I want to live abundantly, but often my abundance is more about worldly goods than great spiritual riches. When I first came across this scripture 2 years ago, I saw it as only a scripture about finances/money. But this week God has revealed it as more than that. It is about all of life. Agur is begging God to provide for him what he needs in order that he may depend solely on God. Lately, I have had a hard time with my job. It isn't the "ideal" job that I had in mind for myself when I graduated from college. However it is teaching me this very lesson: to depend on God. To depend on Him to give me exactly what I need to live a life balanced. To live a life in the tension of fearing God and loving God. I love this verse, because it demands me to live differently and to look differently at everything God gives me. God desires us to depend on Him. My mentor last year, Julia, once told me that in the moment you wake up every morning remember these things: "all things are done for 1) God's glory and 2) for your sanctification". Every single thing that God provides me with should be used through the lenses of Pro 30:7-9. All is for Gods glory and All is for my sanctification. May I look more and more like God in all things and may He receive the glory that He commands from me, His people.